As manifestation has become increasingly more mainstream, so too has the activity of writing out a partner list; designed to bring clarity and intention to the qualities you want to find in a romantic partner and more importantly how you want to feel in their presence.
I prefer using partner lists slightly differently; as a check-in with myself to see if I’m embodying all of the qualities that I would want to find in a partner.
However you like to use them, this week I’m walking you through an exercise that is like partner lists on steroids; I find it to be more accurate in its specificity and articulation of traits than anything I would’ve put together myself. If you’re partnered you can use this same exercise to better understand how you want to be loved and how to best communicate that to your partner.
This exercise is somewhat in opposition to last week’s post about some of the terrifying developments in AI. Today is more focused on one of the fun aspects about ChatGPT; its incredible ability to synthesize information and articulate things to you that maybe you’ve always felt but didn’t have language for. When I was doing the below exercise myself, I constantly found myself saying. “Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s me!”
So - you’re going to download your astrological birth chart, your gene key, your human design and your erotic blueprint. I’ve outlined what those are and how to download them below.
Astrological Birth Chart
Your birth chart is a snapshot of the sky on the day you were born. The location of each planet on your birthday corresponds to a different part of you and your personality. I think of my birth chart as a tool to understand my core essence and personality traits.
Sun → your core identity, ego, life force (who you are at your center)
Moon → your emotions, subconscious, and emotional needs
Mercury → how you think and communicate
Venus → how you love, attract, and relate
Mars → your drive, desire, and assertiveness
Jupiter → growth, expansion, optimism
Saturn → discipline, fear, responsibility, maturity
I like to use the Pattern App for astrology and you can get your birth chart for free here.
Human Design
Human Design, originally founded in 1987 by Ra Uru Hu, combines astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah and the Chakra system to provide a map of your energetic blueprint.
The main premise is that everyone is one of five “energy types”, which describes how to best use your energy, how you most easily create, how you make decisions, how you get inspired and how you know if you’re off track.
I find human design the most useful in understanding how I like to work and how to create opportunities.
The 5 Human Design types are:
Manifesting Generator - 33% of people. They are the multi-passionate accelerators. They create opportunity by responding to something in their external world and then initiating and evolving.
Generators - 37% of people. They are the builders. They create opportunity by responding to what shows up in their external world.
Projectors - 20% of people. They are the guides. They create opportunity through the recognition and invitation from others.
Manifestors - 9% of people. They are the initiators. They create opportunity by initiating ideas independently.
Reflectors - 1% of people. They are the mirror. They create opportunity by being in the right communities and environments.
You can get your human design chart for free here.
Gene Keys
Gene Keys are a system for personal transformation that combine I Ching, Human Design, Astrology and Chakra Theory. They were developed by Richard Rudd (you can hear him talk in depth on Rick Rubin’s podcast )
There is a huge emphasis on contemplation in gene keys and integrating the shadow side of your gifts through awareness. I find that gene keys come the closest of any system to answering - what is my purpose here on Earth?
There are 64 Gene Keys, corresponding to:
64 hexagrams of the I Ching
64 codons in human DNA
You carry about 11–14 specific Gene Keys in your personal profile.
Each gene key has:
A Shadow — the unconscious pattern, fear, or defense mechanism
A Gift — the creative strength that emerges when you become aware of the shadow
A Siddhi — the highest expression; a state of embodied realization or transcendence
Your gene key profile will map out 3 main sequences, which is how you transform your shadows into gifts or siddhis:
-Your Activation Sequence or life’s core purpose
-Your Venus Sequence or your heart, relationships and emotional patterns
-Your Pearl sequence or your prosperity and abundance
You can get your gene key for free here.
Erotic Blueprint
Erotic blueprints, created by sexologist Jaiya, describe your sexual superpowers, how you like to be turned on and how you most easily turn on a partner. Similar to Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages, which describe how you like to give and receive love; I think of Jaiya’s erotic blueprints as how you like to give and receive sensual and sexual pleasure.
There are 5 erotic blueprints and I’ve listed below some of their superpowers:
Sexual - Bring fun, passion and play to sexual experiences. They experience stress and pain relief through sex
Shapeshifter - Can naturally enjoy huge capacity and stamina for pleasure
Energetic - Able to experience touch-free, full body orgasms, capable of altered states during sex
Sensual - Can experience orgasmic pleasure from non sexual sensations, bring incredible consciousness to sexual experiences
Kinky - Bring never ending heat, taboo and creativity to sexual experiences. Can train or be trained to orgasm on demand.
You can get your blueprint for $17 here.
Once you’ve downloaded all your astrological birth chart, your gene key, your human design and your erotic blueprint, you’re going to upload them into chatgpt or claude or whatever LLM you prefer.
Prompts if You’re Single
Based on my human design, my erotic blueprint, my astrological birthchart and my gene keys, describe the characteristics of a partner that I would have a deep soul connection to and that would be a mirror and a support for my highest growth.
Based on my charts, what can I work on to be ready for partnership?
Based on my charts, what are the areas that I can focus on in myself to be a better partner?
Prompts if You’re Partnered
Based on my human design, my erotic blueprint, my astrological birthchart and my gene keys, what is the best way for me to receive love and how can I best communicate that to my partner?
Based on my charts, what will it look like in our partnership when I receive love in these ways? and what will it feel like for my partner?
Based on my charts, how do I most naturally show love in partnership?
Based on my charts, what can I work on to show up as as a more loving partner and deepen our emotional connection?
If you do the exercise - I’d love to hear how it resonated with you.
Content I Consumed This Week
U.S. consumers spend more on Only Fans than ChatGPT and the NY Times combined.
Jay Shetty’s podcast with Michael Pollan, talking about the nature of consciousness, which is the subject of Michael’s new book. I can’t wait to read this.
I’m fascinated by communal living, and specifically The Radish in Oakland, which was described in this op-ed piece last week. The author of that piece also writes a substack about communal living.
Nick Cave’s life advice to a 13 year old.
In Case You Missed It
I answered a reader submitted question about setting a boundary with situationships.
The rise of AI and artificial intimacy
I wrote predictions for dating and relationships in 2026
We are moving into the Year of the Fire Horse
I wrote about leaving a good relationship at 39 to hold out for great, on the Plus One Substack.
My wish for all of you on Valentine’s Day was more pleasure digestion and the discover of your erotic blueprint.
If you want to submit a topic or a specific question for me to answer, you can do that anonymously here.
You can also reply to this email or DM me on the Substack app; I’d love to hear what’s on your mind as it relates to all things dating and relationships.